A few weeks ago I met up with an old girlfriend. We went steady in high school and dated a couple times when I was at Carolina. Over time, we drifted apart, as couples do.
It was sweet to see Mary (not her real name) again. She’s in her 70s now. She has white hair and more wrinkles. Then, you get to her eyes. They’re as bright and sparkling as always. Her laugh is just as infectious. Her smile just as broad. That’s when you realize that while people change, they are very much the same. A flood of vivid memories swept over me in that moment.
I get exactly the same feelings each time I make my way up the stone walk to the DKE House. She stands there on the corner as majestic and welcoming as she ever was, eyes sparkling.
A trip back to the DKE House, as we know, releases a torrent of memories. I think of the time I fell off the front wall face first into the flower bed. A passionate embrace on the side porch dressed in a bed sheet that passed for a medieval costume. Eddie Caldwell and his Hoover in the front hall. The juke box blaring away “My Girl.” Rush and pledging and pickup basketball games. I think of the time I slept through Thanksgiving in my corner room thanks to too much Deke punch.
It’s all there, still locked away for all time. It’s all about what the DKE House means to each of us and why these feelings remain so strong.
There are few events in my life that have meant more than to affix that black diamond pin to a tuxedo jacket. It still rests quietly in a worn jewelry box on my dresser. I will wear it into another kind of wooden box some day, for a last time.
Fifty years later came that gold 1851 pin that now resides in the same box which, once a year, makes an appearance on a blazer to welcome yet another honoree to the fold.
The DKE house, of course, is more than a building. It is the epicenter of what was, we all later discover, the greatest time of our lives. Its walls are permeated with the rich, indelible experiences from the past and this grand old lady speaks to us each time we return. If you listen carefully, you will hear her whispers.
The faces have changed. The co-eds sport cowboy boots. Our house now rests in the hands of kids just like us, young men from every walk of life, but somehow remarkably different than those you might see at other fraternities. A cut above.
They are bright, intelligent, energetic, motivated, and welcoming, even to us old guys who wander up the walk. Their ties are askew. Their shirttails hang out. Many, like us, could use a shave. Their khakis need ironing. But they are Dekes through and through. The genuine article. They are us, years younger.
They have, or soon will have, discovered what it means to be a Beta DKE. Like us, they have sensed a special brand of brotherhood and a lasting bond unlike any other. They know, as we do, they will be joined in the mystic circle forever and ever. There is great pride and comfort in that.
So, as one of the “old Dekes” still in the barn, I cannot tell you how much all of us guys with grey hair appreciate the effort our fraternity brothers are putting forth in the Four Corners Campaign. This is hard and thankless work.
But you know, and all of us know, it is a good and noble cause and I, for one, wish them every success.
The Four Corners Campaign will help preserve and strengthen this invisible, but palpable, bond. Not only is it honoring Meg, who has given greatly and unselfishly of herself over the years, but it is helping ensure that the Deke experience, as we know it, will be perpetuated and enhanced for boys and men, some of whom are yet to be born: The sons and grandsons of Dekes who, like us, will have mounted the Wooly Goat and ridden it into old age.
So what these dedicated alumni are up to is meaningful. It counts. It matters. It will change lives. So let them know we are proud of what they are doing and are firmly behind their efforts.
I know each of us will do what we can to help. Your old girlfriend is counting on you.
Mike Hoyt
Brother Rho ’66
P.S. In addition to showing your financial support, you can help to preserve the history and heritage of our great fraternity. Click here to share your best Deke stories and memories.
